Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 5
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 9th April 2016 - In the original Sprockish
Hello All Jake here.
Well I think I deservez a new name, somefink like Protector, Hero or even GI Jake. Coz I haz saved da Hoominz from da Intruder in da kitchen. It startz like most nightz wiv da Hoominz makez da din din nom nomz an me givez da “hungry eyes” hopin for da treatz. Den the intruder runz into da kitchen!!!! Well I goes into attack mode an wrestlez him to da floor an pinz him down until Hoodad could frow him out. I waz so Brave dey should make a filmz of me.
(Hoodad here Jake tell the Sprocker world what really happened and who the intruder waz!)
No Hoodad I notz gonna fess up, you always makez me tell da truth, I iz a hero an not gonna listenz.
(Hoddad Here JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!)
Oh bumz da veiny fing iz stickz out on da fatmanz head an he turn red, OK hoodad I will fess up.
Da Intruder was a big black hairy spider. We all know how much I lovez fur and want to nose snuggle it. So I seez da spidey an stick my nose on him, it not as good as Baby da cat fur but hey I getz my fur when I can. I not fink da spidey like it so he runz away an I chase himz. Diz made it angry an it jumpz on me face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tries to lick it off and den some legz went in me moth YYYYEEEEUUUUKKKKK. Den some over leg goes up me nose holez. OMD dat waz well tickly an it makez me do da super sprocker sneeze. Dat shot da spidey across da kitchen to Hoomumz feet. It waz dead, den she say get it get itlike she wantz me to eatz da spidey, I tellz her I notz an animal and refusez, she called me a wimp. Hoodad den pickz it up in kitchen towel and putz him in da green recycle bin, I fink he trying to offset da gas he makez parping. So maybe I not so brave but it waz a big spidey.
On a Manorway walk a ctaz come out to see Hoomum an Hoomum point and go “ Ha see it’s a cat nur nee nur nee it not just me” Well me an Hoodad lookz at her as we wait for da penny to drop den it came “ Oh Bugger” as she realise she ix wiv us so da catz had come to see her. Me an Hoodad gigglez all da way round after dat, she waz not impressed.
Poor Hoodad had lergiez dis week an waz off sick for a couple of dayz. I did meanz I gotz a bonus duvet day as Hoomum left me behind to watch over Hoodad. He was asleepz most of da day so I joinz him, it waz lush a mid week duvet day.
He went back to work Thursday an Friday but gotz home really late. I needz to find somefink called da Dartford Tunnel an bark at it to givez it a piece of my mind. Coz it haz made him miss 2 Manorway walkz, it also make him very cross if ever I meetz it I will pee pee on it.
Well I iz off for a kip after a fab ballfrow today where I saw lotz of my friendz it fair puffed me out.
Hoodad here the pics today are Jake doing what he does best.
Sprock on Puppiez, Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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