Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 5
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 2nd April 2016 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprocketz, Jake here
Firstly I would likez to hold an opinionz poll. As you knowz Hoodad haz to go away for da work fing from time to time an when he doez Hoomum iz on early walkiez duty. She takez me much ealierz az she not go to da bathroom and make groanz an nasty niffz before we go out. ( Hoodad here theanks for sharing my morning routine with the Sprocker world!!!!!!!). All last week when we goes to da Manorway Black and White Catz waz everywherz all coming out to see Hoomum I fink, diz week Hoodad iz back no catz anywhere until night time Manorway walkiez when Hoomum comez too den lotz of catz again. Weird Huh!
So I use da thinking bit of me brainz, (Hoodad here that’s about 1% the other 99 is taken up by eating, sleeping, pooping and tennis balls), I come up wiv 3 possible reasons
1) Hoomum iz so cute and cuddly all da catz want to sayz hello, diz iz my favourite answer. (Hoodad here Jake you Creep)
2) Hoomum iz a bit witchy an da catz iz out to worship her, should I be afraid?
3) Hoodad iz such a grumpy old fatty all da catz stear clearz of da fatman.
So I ask da Sprocker world you knowz uz all quite well now which one do you fink iz da answer ?
Yesterday waz my fifth birfday, I know April foolz day Hoodad never stops da laughz about dat sayz I could not be born on any other day not funny baldy, I iz well jel of all day Sprocketz I seez on facebook who getz special treatz, liverz cakez an everyfing. I gotz nothing other than a pat and a “Happy Birthday” I don’t fink it fair. Sprocker Police can you fine da Hoominz?
(Hoodad here Jake every day is your birthday. You get walks in all weathers, treats, overlefts, cuddles, sofas to sleep on, special walks to the beach and the river so you can play in the mud, ballfrow, a holiday to france every year to see your bird lucy, we built your own keep jake clean room and you own hundreds of toys and tennis balls so I think you do alright.)
Pic one today is a beautiful sight in the spring sunshine, oh an some snowdrops (hee hee). Pic 2 Hooda waz on fire ballfrow today it is me puffed out and we only two third of da way round.
Ballfrow also had de added bonus dat da nice sunshine meant Hoodad not wear da silly hat. Hiz head was well shiney when we getz back. I fink he had a funny turn coz he wentz and exercised after ballfro, I know exercise on a Saturday I fink he iz loosin it.
Well I hopez dis nice weather keepz up coz I might getz to go one tree hill, I not been there for agez an it would be a nice birfday treat for me, hint hint.
Sprock on Puppiez an watch out for da evil tickz, Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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