Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4½

A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English

Saturday 5th March 2016 - In the original Sprockish

Hello Sprockets Jake here.

As I promise de over week the first set of Piccies is me getz well stanky den outside bathin in da cold wiv da nasty hosepipe snake getting in on da act.

Don’t da Hoodad look daft in da silly Nordic hat, you all seez Hoomum keep out da way an just laughz a lotz; I fink it waz at Hoodad’s hat not my stankyness.

So I has da weekend ooop norf so dere iz da pics of my Hoogran and Hoograndad adoring me just as dey should. I spent lotz of time follows da Hoograndad into hiz kitchen coz he very good a sneakz me da ham and da cheese an he fink my Hoominz not know but Hoodad made me fess up on da way home. I saw Hoouncle Mark and Hoo Auntie Amber and my Hoocousinz Emma and Holy too so I haz a great time.

But Monday waz da dreaded haircutz wiv da new lady haircutter. She waz nice but did tickle me toez a lot, She even commentz to Hoomum how tickleyt my feetz are. An I now haz my new streamlined doo. I iz gorgeous, sexy an ripped. ( Hoodad here, Jake is not ripped it is just line from the clipperz he is still chunky and now you can see his pink pot belly clearly.) Hoomum was well proud coz I not need my nailz clipz an da haircutter comment on dat too, lotz of walkz workz I guess

I iz luvz da ne doo as I iz super fast now, Hoodad sayz I haz lower drag coefficient, I fink he watch too much top gear on Dave. All day lady doggie luvz my new look even Hooladiez was smile at me from dere carz. Hooladie even stopz Hoodad during ballfrow to tellz him how lovely I lookz and dat I haz a beautiful face, Well who am I to aargue wiv her.

On da down side my short back an sidez, long on da earz iz not so good for earingz an Jewllery after ballfrow I waz totally jewellery empty not good but it will grow back quick I suppose.

So da piccies at da end is my sexy new doo.

See you laterz Puppy off to getz ready for visit of Hoouncle Stacey and Hoo Auntie Sarah.