Jake Sez

Musings of Jake the Sprocker

Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4

A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English

Saturday 12th September 2015 - In the original Sprockish

Hello Sprockets Jake here.

My oh my what a weird Friday night I haz Just Hadz.
Da Hoodad got home through da nasty Dartford Tunnel in record time for a Friday so I was well happy to see himz earlies. Pic 1 iz me givesz him da big cuddlez and pic 2 iz me try to hidez behind hiz giant head, I can still seez me so perhaps it not so gigantic as Hoomum makez out.

As you can seez da warning signz were there itz Friday and da Hoodad notz have beer or special grape juice in hiz pudgy handz, but I so happy I not seez it.

Den he off to change, usual uniform is scabby T-shirt and Shortz or da comfy track pantz. Imaginez my shock when he emerge in full dog walk gear. I iz flabbergasted, do he not knowz Friday iz da duvet day an I only haz morning walk and ball gamez wiv Hoomum den it it snoozez infront of Telly and Hoomin overleftz.

He would not be stopped he waz possessed I only haz time to snaffle a quick bitez of cat foodz before we is off outz. Hoomum not come which meanz we waz in full Hoodad yomp mode and he haz da frow balls too.

It getz worse when I getz home da Hoomum is cooking so no take away overleftz and den it is lamb Keema curry and baked potatoes. Bugger it haz da nasty onionz so no overleftz for Jake.

I waz right puffed outz and confused. Happily normal service iz restored Hoodad has da beer Baby da catz haz da whiskers treatz an I getz da meaty chewy chicken balls, I know who knew dey had dem!

Saturday arrives an I glad fingz is back to normal, I haz da ballfrow in perfect condition. It overcast, rainy but hot so Hoodad leakz loadz, hiz bald head waz so shiney I could see me face in it when he putz on da figure of hate. Even if I say so my self I rockz da wet look an ma bootiful. Da Grass not cut so it ticklez me belly when I chase da ballz which is always nice.

My muddy puddle waz well cold, I haz forgot how many nipplez I haz until dis morning my whole undercarriage waz all tingley when I camez out. Went into turbo modez running to warmz up. Sadly it not very muddy butz I did getz da big towel down when we getz home and we all knowz how much I lovez de towelz.

So I knowz dey have me on da D.I.E.T, ( dey not know I can spellsz so I know well enough what dat meanz), I fink I am now on an exercise programme and whole duevet days may be a fing of da past, any other sprocketz so badly treated by da Hoodad? (Hoodad here, now Jake don’t exaggerate most dogs would love extra walks and if we are honest it is only Baby the Cat that does not need to loose weight in this house)

I iz well gell of all da Sprockerfest picciez but da Hoominz sayz I must choose between Sprockerfest or my French holibob to see me bird Lucy, what to do what to do!

Have a sprocktastic weekend and Sprock on Puppiez luvz Jake xx

Clickz on da image to see full pic

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