Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 29th August 2015 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Whatz a week of High and Lowz I haz had.
Sunday
High
Bonus as da Hoomins takez me blackberryin down da Warrens, my fav place in da world coz it got mud and water and stuff to stick in me earz, ratz and rabbitz to chase
Low
We waz so earliez da ratz and rabbits waz asleep
High
I did lotz and lotz of swimz.
Low
When da Hoominz waz shoppin I puke all da pond water up on da carpet. Baby da catz was laff and say “ you iz gonna getz it when dey getz home”. She evenz shedz her fur and makez it into white arrowz to pointz at da puddle, I hatez dat catz sometimez.
High
Da Hoominz givez me big cuddlez and sayz don’t worries about da puke. Da catz waz not happy I tellz her dey luvz me more dan her. (Hoodad here we love baby as much as Jake it is not double standards because she has 2 yes 2 litter trays which we clean at least 3 times a day. However if she has the hump she will poop on the floor out of spite which is why she gets told off and Jake did not.)
Pics one to five is me havez fun down da warren.
Low
All my good stank iz gone I waz full showerd.
Monday
Low
Anuvver builder man visitz to quote on der horrible Jake bathroom.
High
He well jell of da hoomins as he only gotz da springer and dat must be half as good az a Sprocker coz we haz two lotz of dog in us. (Hoodad: Jake don’t be mean about your half cousins, if you remember when you were a pup it was Springer spaniels that taught you to swim. Sorry Hoodadz I just havin fun all dogz is great)
Tuesday
Low
Hoodad is off on da work fing so no yog or teef cleaniez treat as Hoomum forgotz.
High
I getz Hoomum to myselfz.
Wednesday
High
Baby da Catz run downstairz laffin coz she had woke da Hoomum up wiv a parp. I know hoodad has done diz but little baby da cat now dat iz something. We could hearz Hoomum search for da poop for agez before she realise it waz a Cat parp dat woke her
Low
Hoomum was up so earliez (5:30 waz still dark what iz she thinks, I no a giant lark) Pick six is grumpy me try not to goez to workz coz I iz so tired.
Thursday
Low
Oscar my friend from de other yard at work hurts his paw when we waz run about. But I fink he just attenshun seek coz half hour latter he back to normal, but boy did he make some noise.
High
Hoodad back from Workiez so I getz da bonus manorway ballfrow wiv both da Hoomins.
Friday
No lows just High
Me and da Catz had da chicken take away, real chicken not chicken wingz. OMD Baby da catz eatz so much chicken I fink she will popz, but az she sayz it meanz she leavez more cat food for me to sneaky scoff.
( Hoodad here I knew it those two little buggers are in leagues with each other to get more food. Sprocker police is there laws against sprockers and cats working together?)
Big Big High
In da nightz dere waz a massive crash and da house shook, I thought it end of world. Until Baby da Catz come down stairz wetzin herself. Da noise was Hoodad fallz out of bed, OMD I nearly pee wiv laughter, Hoomoum letz me out but she is gigglez too. Provez we haz a well built house otherwise fatbloke would have ended up in da lounge. Luckiez nothing waz broke on Hoodad or da House an he go straight back to sleepz and snorez da house down. Oh I wishez da cat had a smart phone to recordz it that would have been a fab vid for Jakie seez.
Saturday
High
Got good stank back on ball frow as da muddy puddles waz well muddies Pic seven
Low
Got Hosepiped so only bitz stanky now. Pic eight
High
Yog pot day pic nine
Have a super Sprockfest all you luck puppies who iz goin, perhaps one day da Hoominz will bringz me.
And Always Sprock on Puppies luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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