Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 3
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Sunday 1st February 2015 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
I needz some advice please.
Last night after da Hoomins went to bedz and da snoring started Baby ( da cat) caughtz da mouse in da house (giggle I just rhymed). She kill it den waz palying wiv it. When I wentz to see what da noise was dat woke me up she growlsz and spitz and got very protective of da dead mouse.
So I knowz I not allowed up da stairz unless I iz have shower coz I stink. I know how mean are Hoodad and Hoomum dat I no allowed to sleepz on da bed wiv dem, I do haz da run of da sofaz so every cloud and dat. Perhaps dat iz for another time,. Anyways I goez up to tell dem whatz occurring. I pad up quiet like and go round to Hoodadz side of bed, I not wantz to bark as it might shock him bad, I snuffles in hiz ear but nuffink wakes a Hoodad, Hoomum sez he like a Snoring Parping dead body when he sleepz. So I go quietz to da spare room to see if Hoouncle Ish is in, he so skinny I could dragz him out of bed, no chance doing dat wiv Fatty Hoodad, but he not down. Back to Hoomum and her side of da bed. She wakes so I do my best Lassie impression of "Timmy's in da well" and givez her da follow me eyes. I not hold much hope as she not like poo let alone a dead mouse. She sees it and wakes da Hoodad who coughs parps and scratches before flicking da mouse outside. I get lotsz of praise as does Baby, all good so far dats z not what I need advice on.
Ever since Baby became a killer she keeps looking at me funny. I fink I iz next what can I do? I iz not gonna triez to bury my head in her soft white fur untillz her blood lust goes. Any Sprockets out dere had similar experiences I iz sleepz wiv one eye open all day and it makez me tired.
When Hoodad tookz me ball frow on Sunday as a special treat for being da hero Saturday night da mous waz still on da drive. He iz telling everybodiez dat he gave it a burial at sea, what he means waz he threw it down da drain
Sprock on Puppies if you not hear from me it waz da cat dat did it. Luvz Jake xx
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