Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4½
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 16th January 2016 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Well I fink I iz on a new year health kick az da Hoodad Dragz me out for a ballfrow on a Sunday. I know a Sunday dat iz a designated liez in day. It waz a good ballfrow though an we haz loadz of Fun. Den I had two Manorway walks so no Sunday snoozez I waz well tired an glad when he went off to work on Monday.
But I gotz well excited az da Hoobuilder Barry arrivez and say Tyler iz comez today. I waz well happy Tyler iz my doggie facebook friend from Wigan an I haz never seez him in da flesh, I keep jump up at window an run to door. So imaginez my disappoint when a tall thin Hoomin arrivesan stat He iz da Tiler!!!!!!!!!!! So not my friend but a Hoomin who iz makez da keep Jakie clean room a stepz closer I waz not happy an BARKZ well load at him but he ticklez my earz an we all know dat iz sprocker kryptonite. So I fink my dayz of good stank are numbered an da keep Jakie clean room iz nearly done.
On da Manorway on Monday night I see my old friendz da Cavallier Spanielz and dere Hoomum. One of da pair of doggiez waz a bit poorly an da Hoomum waz push dem in a baby stroller. It lookz well comfy an a real easy way of go for da poopie walkz. I ask Hoodad if he push me in a baby stroller but he sez he would need a shopping trolley to push my lardy bottom around so I should fink again. He can be quite hurtful wiv hiz wordz at time my Hoodad can.
Hoomum buyz me da warm coat before Chrimbo so I no getz cold when I iz at workz. It iz a bit long an she haz to fold it upz when I needz to pee. Thursday she not quick enough wiv da fold an I manages to peepee on me own coat. I know not a good look but when you gotta go you gotta go. Diz is what I tellz Hoodad when I stopz right in da middle of a T junction on Friday morningz early walk an haz da dump, he waz well embarrassed as it stopz da car coming, da driver waz laff loadz, I fink Hoodad nearly Blush.
But da health kick isz a deffo coz I got a Manorway yomp on Friday night and diz waz Hoomum and mez first builder free duvet day in agez. But she waz da hoover an polish machine so I waz forced to bark at da hoover lotz so not much of a duvet day so I waz less da pleased to be dragged in da cold, I even curlz out da big log in da garden to show I no need da poopie walk but Hoodad ignorez it anyway an scoopz it in da poo bag an off we go.
On da upside da Hoominz had Chinese takeaway an me an Baby da catz got load of left over aromatic lamb, iut like aromatic crispy duck but for tight Hoominz az it much cheaper dan duck an we all know Hoodad iz da tight wad. But da lamb waz lush almost better dan fried chicken
Diz morningz ballfrow waz well cold. An da ground waz all white an frosty which meant I no get muddy or wet. But it waz so cold da under carriage waz tingle before I leave da garden so even though da muddy puddle waz not frozed I no daft enough to swim ( Hoodad here our little boy must be growing up last winter he was breaking ice on the ponds so he could swim).
Haz any over Sprocketz experience changez in da Catz dat own dere house? Baby haz tunz into a cuddly nice catz who showz da hoominz affection since she came back from Barehamz. It iz freakz me out “Freddie Kruger” iz no more. I iz worried it just a phase an she will come backz wiv clawing an hissing revenge, should I be worried or iz it a permanent change so I can relax when she around?
Well datz all diz week coz me an Hoodad haz to wrapz pressiez for Hoomumz birfday tomorrow. An I haz to supervisez Hoodad in cook da slow roast shoulder of lamb. Diz iz really good NomNomz an I hopes dere will be loadz left.
Today’s pic iz me rockin da coat wiv Hooauntie Alice at workz.
Stay Warm Sprocketz an always
Stay warm and always sprock on puppiez Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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