Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4½
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 7th November 2015 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
I iz sad diz week coz of two fingz. One duvet day seemz t be a fing of da past what wiv all da builderz and stuff goin on an my Hoobossez coming an helpz Barry da builder it feelz like I iz at workz when I iz home. Second I iz still locked out of da garden, I miss my garden an haz to go on late night pee pee walkz not just da once round da garden. So I iz da grumpy bum!
Hoouncle Barry did letz me go an inspectz da new extension an I got loadz of fuss from da boyz so it not so bad, Sam an den Barry sharez dere digestive bickiez wiv me which waz great. But I not able to look out an see all da pretty fireworks itz so unfair.
Baby da catz iz feeling da incarceration much worse dan me, we all know what a psyhco she iz an I fink she is plotz da horrible Freddie Kruger on da builderz, Watch you back boyz Baby da Catz iz coming.
Anuvver fing dat iz unfair iz she getz fed da noms in da Hoominz sleep room. She tauntz me wiv da “ dey luvz me more dan you” chant again. (Hoodad here it is not favouritism it is a diet for Jake as we have had to remove the baby gate he is stocking up on cat poo. So we cannot let him pinch her food as well, we all know what a gut lord Jake is, Eat first think later is his mantra. It is for his own good we feed Baby upstairs at the moment to stop him getting any fatter.)
Well some normal service waz resumed today me an Hoodad haz da ball frow walkiez today. My first ball frow for 2 weekz an he make me sit for da piccie 1. Den when we getz to da Crooked Billet I haz to keep in Jakey stance while he takes Pic 2.
In da big park da muddy puddle waz quite full an not so dirty so I only had a lickle dip. Da really stanky place waz well full an super Stankey so I plunge right in. I make da Hoodad do da veiny fing and da angry face coz I not bring da ball out da water. I makez him come down da bank to fish it out,. I had da plan an I jumpz out as he bend overz an I bumpz into him to get him in da stank. But, an it a BIG butt, da fatman iz well heavy way more dan I thought I just bounce off him an he not move, just turnz an give me da angry face. I leg it sharpish. But I iz too good looking to be mad at an a soon as he up da bank it all smiles.
He makez me pay diz week wiv da huge frows an I has been bring dem back which make me very tired, Pic 3 iz me realise I run too much so near da end I stopz da bring back an just wait for da Hoodad to catch up.
Canz you settlez an argument me an Hoodad iz have. He sayz I haz cute Black earz, I say I haz sexy Black ears an a sexy balck bumz spot to go wiv da sexy black ball frow. I iz growed up now when I a puppiez I waz well cute but now surely I iz sexy not cute?
What do you fink iz me or da Hoodad right?
Datz all today I iz wiv me lovley towelz on da sofa for as long az I can con dem dat I asleepz.
Sprock on Puppiez and stay safe from da fireworkz Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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