Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4½
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 26th September 2015 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Does anyone knowz if dere iz a tribunal for sprocker discrimination?
All summer long Baby da Catz haz go on and on about how da Hoominz luvz her more dan me coz she getz to sleepz on da bed wiv dem and iz allowed upstairs. “Meeoow Jakie boy da bedz iz so bigz and soft wiv special pillowz justz for beautiful me, the aircon keepz me cool when itz hotz and I sneakz under da coverz if itz cold. All you getz iz da sofaz, dey luvz me most”. Datz all I hearz all summer longz.
So on Sunday Hoodad had to go to Brum , soundz a bit rude to me, I ask if he waz gonna give it a sexy Brum sniff but he told me not to be daft! Dis mean Hoomum on her own in da big bed and It waz warm and da aircon waz on, I could still hearz da Cat Purrin just taunting me. I knowz I not supposed to go upstairz but I creepsz up quiet and tapz on da door. Hoomum appearz and get wrong end of stick I not want da pee pee or da poop. She not very happy when I jumpz into her bed space and settlez down wiv my head on da lush soft pillow.
Now dis iz da discrimination bit, she kickz me out and make me go pee pee, it waz still dark!!!!!! And all da timez I can hearz da Cat teasin me. IT NOTZ FAIR!!!!!!!!
Do I haz a case?
( Hoodad here in Hoomums defence she quiet likes it when she has the bed to her self and Baby never stops in there very long as she cannot stand the snoring. Baby is getting to be an old lady she is 15 and the only sanctuary she has from the nose buts and snuggles Jake wants to give her is upstairs. Added to that Hoomum said she has enough of a hairy snoring parping lump when I am there without letting a Sprocker sized one replace me.)
Den my week got well strange. Thursday started just normal Hoodad home, walkiez yog the usual just a little bit earlier. Then Hoomum appearz for work, but she waz in Lady clothez, she never wears lady clothes sumfink is up. We leave well early for work. At work all three Hoobosses are wearz da suitz dey never wearz da suitz. Dey all leavez me wiv Hooauntie Alice and den come back at de end of da day. Very Odd.
Hoodad waz awayz wiv work so I waz look forwardz to da Friday duvet day. But no before even da sparrowz have parped I iz out wiv da Hoomum walkies, I see she no have da torch so like a good boy I only poop under street lightz so she can see to poop scoop easy. Again she come from upstairz in da different lady clothes, and I iz made to go to work, On a FRIDAY, diz not fair no duvet day. I never did find outz what goin on. But I did getz my HooAuntie Alice to myself and I Luvz Hooauntie Alice coz she is never bored by my trickz and givez me treatz.
On da Bonus front Hoodad pick me up from workz as Hoomum was gonna be late back an I getz to ride in da silver comfy. But anuvver nail in duvet day coffin waz he make me go walkies on a Friday night, I know torture. Too add insultz to injury he cooks wiv da nasty onions so no takeaway or overleftz. I waz so tired and fed up pick one and two iz how I spent Friday night.
Den it getz worse I hearz when I pretend I sleepz dat dey fink I haz big stank and it shower time.
So on ball frow today I tries not to getz too stanky so I might getz anuvver week of good stank. (Hoodad here that’s what he thinks, Sunday is shower day.)
If all dat was not bad enough when we getz back from ballfrow Hoodad starts clearz da patio so I guess dat meanz work iz startz on da Jakie bathroom.
GOODBYE GOOD STANK, I WILL MISS YOU.
Well I iz off to try and catch upz on da napz I missed
Sprock on Puppiez Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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