Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 5
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 30th April 2016 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Well Hoodad was off wiv da workies fing again diz week, so it haz been Hoomummy only on walkiez duty. Fingz waz go ok until she pulled her keg muscle. Diz meant she waz limpy and well slow at wlking which meant myt walkz was much longer in time so I could run and play loadz wiv me bird Trufflez. Pics today are from da lenz of Hoomum iz of me and Trufflez playing, she iz well cute don’t ya fink?
I haz been shakez my head lotz and Hoodad haz been look and not see nuffink in me earziez an wipez dem wiv baby wipez. I luvz diz az it is nice an cold an he iz quite gentle for a fatbloke. But dey worries an Hoomum takez me to da VETZ. I hatez dem so much I not left her look in me earziez, so she packz me off wiv eardropz. While dere Hoomum putz me on da scalez. According to her I iz a “lard Arse gut lord”, I thought I iz a sprocker?
Well Hoodad tries to do da dropz on Friday an just manages den Saturday Morning I got all growly snappy, boy did he get angry an shoutz well loud, dat clearz me earziez. But he iz da sneaky Hoodad an after ball frow he lullz me wiv soft baby wipez in da earziez den when I relax in he squirts. I waz not happy but quite impressed at hiz sneakiness.
OMD I must tellz you about Baby da catz!!!!! Friday she waz prowl da garden when a blackbird an a Thrush waz double team her and tease her by walk on da ground den fly away when she triez to catch dem. Oh boy waz she mad at dem. We all had take away from Ramos so we haz overleftz of chicken an lamb dinner which waz well tasty. Fortified she went full “Freddie Kruger” on those Birdy’s bottomz and managed to grab one. She waz give it a right good kickin until Hoodad rescues it by pick her up and bring her in. I waz not allowed to see if it waz ok or nuffing da fatbloke went an pick it up all gentle like and place it on top of da garage at da bottom of da garden so it away from Baby da killer cat. It waz gone when it waz peepee time so I hopez it haz recovered. On da good point Baby da killer catz waz calmed down and we all slept sound not wiv one eye open waiting for her to snap.
Hoodad waz do da ground shakey huffy puffy leaky fing again (Hoodad here Running Jake Running). I fink I could be a detective in da Sprocker police coz I figured somefink out. Either he iz use me as a training aid coz when I waz runz an zoomiez wiv da ball he walkz an when I stopz an rest he runz, I test diz and it waz same regardless of how far or long I ran for, or an diz can’t be right, he iz runz to stop me getz rest an getme fitter ( Hoodad here bit of both if I am honest. Anywho he talkz to a pretty girlie great dane puppy when he should be ballfrow so I punish him by runz off full turbo mode, earziez back, bum down everyfing, I went well far den liez down. Well by da time he got dere it waz like da flying scotsman steam engine pulling into a station all huffing puffing an steam leaking fluid all over da place.
Boy did it tirez me out not getting loadz of rest I iz off to me sofa.
Happy bank holiday weekend Sprockets, Sprock on Puppies, Luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
| < Previous Blog |