Diary of a Sprocker by Jake Wilson - Age 4
A blog written mainly in Sprockerish or sometimes translated into English
Saturday 9th May 2015 - In the original Sprockish
Hello Sprockets Jake here.
Hopez you all enjoyedz da bank holiday weekendz I knowz I didz, bonus walkies wiv da Hoominz and leftoverz on a Monday it was ace.
Todayz ballfrow waz well early, but it wasz a bit my faultz. As you knowz Friday iz my duvet day when I snoozez after da morning walkz. Well yesterdayz I waz especially goodz at da duvet day, so much so I not even be boveredz to poop in da garden not even when Hoomum giz me da “Right Jakey” command. Da upshotz waz I hadz to go at 4:30. So in super stealth mode I climbz da stairs and pinch a hoodad stinkey sock from da wash bag, da reason for diz will be clear in a bit. Den I jumpz lightly on da be so not to wakes da hoominz wiv a start. Now da sock comez in to play and I stuffz it undar hoodadz nose and da stink wakez him upz.
To my surprise he leaps, yes leaps, out of bedz, not da usual groans, scratching and parping dat is hiz normalz routine, and letz me outz oh da relief. But insteadz of go back to bedz he put telly on and liez on da sofa and starts to snore so I joinz in and den Hoomum appearz and she liesz on da over sofa and sleepz. I ask you iz dis fair I no allowed on da bed to sleep wiv dem but dey can sleepz wiv me. Sprocker police comez and caution dem.
Hoomum sayz I iz turning into Hoodad. We both luvz da chicken, we both have a long back and short hairy legz. I know it hard to believe but giant hoodad has shorter legs dan tiny Hoomum. She says I gotz da snoring, burping and parping down pat ages ago. Hopez I don’t go bald like him.
Hello everyone hoodad here, as you know Jake does exaggerate a little I am not a giant I am 6feet 2 inches tall. He is right I do have shorter inside leg measurements than my petite 5feet 3inches and 2 little bits tall wife. Just wanted to clear that up unless you thought I resembled an orc from lord of the rings.
Todays pics are me looking well sexy in da daisies and da bonus muddy puddle I findz today. Hoodad sayz I is a dirty stinkey little snit and needz a showerz diz weekend. I had a showerz at easter I don’t fink I needs another yetz.
Sprock on Puppies luvz Jake xx
Clickz on da image to see full pic
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